Oh let me be shallow and in love
with surfaces, the way they dictate bones --
how, for example, the skeletons of fish
remember thin quick water, or
how the human spine takes the shape
of wet clay squeezed between great fingers.
Is "restless" just a shorthand
for the way tail-lights pull long tracks
from rain-wet pavement --
or "skin" an easy way of saying
even lovers move across a ground
of unknown secrets. Or take
my hair, about which I have written
several books. I only want to say
how its frizz has marked me
as something wild or foreign.
Love this one!
Hi Erin
I am intriged by this poem. I find I am feeling more distanced than these wonderful images aught to make me. Perhaps there are too many to leap for. The questioning with regard to "restless" seems to come far from left field and distracts me from the poem. I've probably done it badly, but I'm attempting to forge greater links between the images by putting the frog in a blender, so to speak. I'm not at all sure it succeeds but it does introduce an interesting new twist.
Surfaces
O let me be shallow and in love/
with surfaces, how, for example,/
the way they dictate bones/
--the skeletons of fish./
Remember thin quick water, or/
how the human spine takes shape/
of wet clay squeezed between great/
fingers; "restless"--just a shorthand for the way/
tail-lights pull long tracks/
on rain-wet pavement -- /
or "skin", an easy way of saying/
even lovers move across a ground/
of unknown secrets. Or take my/
hair, how its frizz has marked me,/about which I have written/
several books--I only want to say/
as something wild or foreign.
Yes,
the break should follow "take"
on line 13.
"Sign of a good poem: One which others deem worthy of screwing up."
Not a bad definition of a good poem, Shelly. Yeah, this one is getting there. Your tinkering is interesting -- downright intriguing in places.
I wanted to note that I read this to my mom and she laughed out loud. She says "guess it helps to know the writer" and promises to send a picture of me in my "white girl with an Afro" stage, circa 1985.
Dear God! Not you too!