"The Republican Guard has - calibrate me, Dick - they pulled south in the north and they went north in the southern portion of the country." -- Donald Rumsfield
Rumsfield often uses the phrase "calibrate me," to mean "correct me if I'm wrong." But since the word "calibrate" means "to determine the width (caliber) of a tube" the mental image is, um, unfortunate.
Originally "calibrate" was used mostly of thermometer tubes, so "calibrate" by extension means to determine how many degrees per inch, or more generally to set the gauge on an instrument, or to check a known reading to adjust a gauge for accuracy. This is probably in the general area of what Rumsfield has in mind, a little air of science, a bit of percision guiding. It's still awfully silly.
Incidentally, the "Dick" in question -- or one of them -- is General Richard Myers, chair of the joint chiefs.
