"Is this the lady of the house?"
"That's an awfully generous assumption. But I guess that's me... What can I do for you?"
"Well, I tell ya, it's awfully good to hear a friendly voice. I've been talking to so many grumps."
"I used to make phone calls for a living. I know how it goes."
"This is the first job I've had in 27 years. It's hard, I tell ya. But it's not a good time to be farming in Alberta."
"Ouch. I'll bet it isn't. And on top of it you have to talk to grumps."
"The men in your area, well, they're not having a good day. It's like talking to a bunch of wounded grizzly bears."
"Sorry to hear. So, pitch."
"Are you familiar with The Report?"
"No, I don't think so."
"Well, we're an independent news magazine. We cover national issues from a pro-family, pro-taxpayer point of view."
"Oops, sorry. Skyrocketing warning flares there. I'm more a Mother Jones kinda reader."
"You sound awfully young for it..."
"No, no, it's a news magazine, liberal. You know. Anti-family and anti-taxpayer."
"Well, we are well-rounded. We report on all sorts of issues. Our health section has often got alternative therapies. And we believe in annoying the government."
"Well, there we agree. But I think I'm pretty busy in first battalion, windmill tilters, out here on the left flank."
"Well, that's okay. It's so good to talk to you, I hate to let you go. Can you think of anyone who'd appreciate a really annoying phone call in the next hour or so? In-laws or like that?"
"Ah, I ought to sick you on my father-in-law, just cause. Let me look him up."
"They can't be any worse than my mother-in-law."
"Bad, is she?"
"Wore black to the wedding. Cried all the way through it. I'm going to fix her up when she dies, though."
"What, wear red to the funeral, laugh all the way through it?"
"Oh no, I couldn't. She's quite elderly, you know. But, I always get the jobs no one else wants. Like the other day I was helping with her laundry."
"What, she has boys?"
"Three, and all useless, God love em. And I was helping with her laundry and I found a dress hanging in plastic in the cupboard. And I pulled it out. Mother Miller, I said, how come I never see you wear this? 'Oh, that,' she says, 'Look at it, it's got purple and red flowers -- I don't know what I was thinking. I wouldn't be caught dead in that dress.' And I thought, that's the dress!"
"She'll be buried in it, will she?"
"Because I tell you, it will be my job to dress her."
"You know it. Here, I've got those numbers for you."
"God Bless, sweetie."
I hope it wasn't the call her supervisor was listening in on. And no, Eric, I didn't give her your number. I did sick (sic) her on a few other people though. I hope they have joy of it.
Caller ID: We've just started with this technology. Friends who call Long Distance (via some cheap calling card, cel, or deal) show up as coming from Colorado or Texas. If I call from work, it's "unknown". Many people who should be known are "unknown".
Telemarketers: When people tell me their telemarketer stories, I tell them to remember that it's a real person that needs that job for whatever reason, and it isn't their fault. It's not their fault they're offering us a Discover card when we already have one. Just treat people, no matter what their job, like human, and that's fine. Perhaps for some people, telemarketing is the best job, maybe they like it? Maybe it's a bad patch for them. Now customer service, that's a different story ;)
I hope she gets a better job than telemarketing soon!
Thanks Erin for not siccing her on me! But she wouldn't have got through anyway. I don't answer blocked number, blocked name or unknown name calls. Thank goodness for identicall!